Star Magazine, Why?

So I have a sad confession to make.

I love reading Star magazine. I know I shouldn't, because it's total garbage. As I type, I'm leafing through the December 20, 2004 issue and I just can't help but shake my head. This magazine is lazy, stupid, and really annoying. And yet, I love it so.

I think the worst part of the magazine is the Normal/Not Normal section. I fail to see how Star is the cultural barometer of what is normal and not normal. For example, did you know it is not normal for Dean Cain to twirl a basketball on one finger but it is normal for Ashley Judd to wear a pom-pom hat? These are the kind of insights into the human condition that you get while reading Star.

Star also has a core group of celebrities in each issue that they talk about approximately 60 times. These luminaries include Paris Hilton (of course! What else does she really do except party and get her photograph in Star?), Lindsay Lohan (my personal favorite article about her was from right after she broke up with Wilmer and how she went nuts), Britney, the barefoot wonder, and for some inexplicable reason, Star Jones Reynolds. Lately, Star can't decide whether or not Nick and Jessica are "on" or "off," and have devoted countless magazine covers to sussing out this issue of national importance.

Overall, I enjoy celebrities and I do enjoy reading celebrity magazines. It's just that sometimes I feel an overwhelming sense of shame when I sit down to read Star.